You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
