okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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