I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
