he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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