I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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