drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
