so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
