just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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