Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
