I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
