Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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