we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
