You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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