That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
