His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
