Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
