i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
