If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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