Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
