make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
