i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
