so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
