Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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