there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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