We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
