we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
