What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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