Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am available for nakedness
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
