It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Everclear isn't food dammit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
