Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drake has all the answers
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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