I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The best revenge is premature balding
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
