The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
