She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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