I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
