I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
