covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
