idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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