also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
