he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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