i think i have two assholes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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