just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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