You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
