I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
