Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
