whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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