I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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