At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Are my feet made of real feet?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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