My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
