So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
