We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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