Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
