God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
