Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
