Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
