id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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