I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
