is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
