Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
