her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
