I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
