totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
