He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
