I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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