the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
