kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she peed on how many people?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
