Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
